2018.02.28
英文メールの書き方：資料の修正を依頼する
こんなシチュエーション、お仕事でありませんか？
資料作成をアシスタントに依頼したところ、早急に仕上げてくれました。仕事のスピードもさることながら、質もバッチリ。でも一点だけ修正をお願いしたい。
英語メールで「資料の修正を依頼する」お手本を動画でチェック！
こちらの動画では、伝えるべきメッセージとニュアンスを書き手が考えているところから、以下の内容のメールを実際に英語で書く様子までをご覧いただけます。
———————
ミランダさん、
お願いしていた契約書を早急に仕上げてくださり、ありがとうございました。ざっと目を通してみたところ、良くできていると思いました。
一点だけ修正をお願いします。第７項に次の文を加えてください：「本契約に定めない事項については甲乙協議の上、定めるものとする。」日本の契約書には必ず入れる風習なのです。
今日の退社時間までに提出していただければ嬉しいです。よろしくお願いします。
———————
今後の仕事での英語メールの参考になれば幸いです。
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【過去の動画を見るにはYoutubeページへ！Subscribe！】
0:00:04.580,0:00:09.540
Hello, everyone! Welcome to E-mail Picks.
It's Kyota here again. You know, our
0:00:09.540,0:00:13.469
department has finally gotten a
part-time assistant and we're really
0:00:13.469,0:00:17.070
happy about it.
Her personality is great, her English is
0:00:17.070,0:00:21.720
great, her work ethics are just great. I
really need to be careful not to
0:00:21.720,0:00:26.070
accidentally call her Ms.Greatness.
Hello Ms. Greatness! Hello Ms. Role-
0:00:26.070,0:00:30.510
Model. You can see how excited we are
about having her in the team. So anyway,
0:00:30.510,0:00:34.950
as one of her first tasks, I've asked her
to put together an English version of a
0:00:34.950,0:00:39.540
contract paper template. Recently, there
have been many more companies in Japan
0:00:39.540,0:00:44.190
that have regional headquarters in Hong
Kong, Singapore, or Australia and
0:00:44.190,0:00:48.480
sometimes we are asked to prepare
contract papers in both Japanese and
0:00:48.480,0:00:53.100
English. Now to my surprise, our new
assistant got the job done in just one
0:00:53.100,0:00:58.739
morning. So at first I thought: "Really? Are
you sure you're done? Aren't there gonna
0:00:58.739,0:01:03.690
be many errors and typos? But then I
looked at the document and I realized
0:01:03.690,0:01:09.689
there is really nothing wrong with this.
So she is surely a great employee, but I
0:01:09.689,0:01:13.890
actually found one thing that was
missing in Japanese contracts -- almost all
0:01:13.890,0:01:17.869
the time there is this one statement at
the end that says something like:
0:01:17.869,0:01:22.409
problems that are not written in this
contract shall be resolved through
0:01:22.409,0:01:26.820
discussion, and this was not on the
template our assistant prepared. This is
0:01:26.820,0:01:31.409
a very unique part of Japanese business
culture where companies basically trust
0:01:31.409,0:01:36.689
that both sides have good will and they
can resolve any issues through
0:01:36.689,0:01:41.369
discussion. In some Western cultures, it's
the direct opposite. So companies
0:01:41.369,0:01:47.040
basically don't trust each other, so they
need a rule book. The contract papers are
0:01:47.040,0:01:52.290
the rule book. So maybe this idea was new
to our assistant, so right now I'm gonna
0:01:52.290,0:01:57.380
write an e-mail to her to ask her to make
that small revision. Okay so here goes:
0:01:58.160,0:02:02.430
Miranda, thank you for getting the
contract papers ready so soon. I've
0:02:02.430,0:02:06.659
looked over them and I thought they were
solid. There was just one point, however,
0:02:06.659,0:02:11.760
that I would like to have revised. Please
add the statement "Matters not stipulated
0:02:11.760,0:02:14.920
in this Agreement
and any other ambiguities which arise in
0:02:14.920,0:02:18.490
relation to this Agreement shall be
settled through consultation in good
0:02:18.490,0:02:22.240
faith by the customer and Bizmates."
under Article 7.
0:02:22.240,0:02:25.870
It's a Japanese thing that just needs to
be there. It would be great if you could
0:02:25.870,0:02:31.600
get it in by the end of the day today.
OK, so in the first paragraph, I'm
0:02:31.600,0:02:37.420
thanking and praising our assistant for
her fast and quality work. Great job.
0:02:37.420,0:02:42.460
In the second paragraph, I'm explaining the
revision I need her to make. I said "it's
0:02:42.460,0:02:46.420
a Japanese thing" which means in this
case, it's something that always happens
0:02:46.420,0:02:51.730
in Japanese business. OK and then I
close my e-mail by setting a deadline.
0:02:51.730,0:02:55.450
Alright so there you go, an e-mail to
request a revision in a document.
0:02:55.450,0:03:00.430
I really need to put my act together
because I feel our assistant may outshine me
0:03:00.430,0:03:05.260
very soon. Anyway, that's it for today.
Thank you for watching and I'll see you later.
Hello, everyone! Welcome to E-mail Picks.
It's Kyota here again. You know, our
0:00:09.540,0:00:13.469
department has finally gotten a
part-time assistant and we're really
0:00:13.469,0:00:17.070
happy about it.
Her personality is great, her English is
0:00:17.070,0:00:21.720
great, her work ethics are just great. I
really need to be careful not to
0:00:21.720,0:00:26.070
accidentally call her Ms.Greatness.
Hello Ms. Greatness! Hello Ms. Role-
0:00:26.070,0:00:30.510
Model. You can see how excited we are
about having her in the team. So anyway,
0:00:30.510,0:00:34.950
as one of her first tasks, I've asked her
to put together an English version of a
0:00:34.950,0:00:39.540
contract paper template. Recently, there
have been many more companies in Japan
0:00:39.540,0:00:44.190
that have regional headquarters in Hong
Kong, Singapore, or Australia and
0:00:44.190,0:00:48.480
sometimes we are asked to prepare
contract papers in both Japanese and
0:00:48.480,0:00:53.100
English. Now to my surprise, our new
assistant got the job done in just one
0:00:53.100,0:00:58.739
morning. So at first I thought: "Really? Are
you sure you're done? Aren't there gonna
0:00:58.739,0:01:03.690
be many errors and typos? But then I
looked at the document and I realized
0:01:03.690,0:01:09.689
there is really nothing wrong with this.
So she is surely a great employee, but I
0:01:09.689,0:01:13.890
actually found one thing that was
missing in Japanese contracts -- almost all
0:01:13.890,0:01:17.869
the time there is this one statement at
the end that says something like:
0:01:17.869,0:01:22.409
problems that are not written in this
contract shall be resolved through
0:01:22.409,0:01:26.820
discussion, and this was not on the
template our assistant prepared. This is
0:01:26.820,0:01:31.409
a very unique part of Japanese business
culture where companies basically trust
0:01:31.409,0:01:36.689
that both sides have good will and they
can resolve any issues through
0:01:36.689,0:01:41.369
discussion. In some Western cultures, it's
the direct opposite. So companies
0:01:41.369,0:01:47.040
basically don't trust each other, so they
need a rule book. The contract papers are
0:01:47.040,0:01:52.290
the rule book. So maybe this idea was new
to our assistant, so right now I'm gonna
0:01:52.290,0:01:57.380
write an e-mail to her to ask her to make
that small revision. Okay so here goes:
0:01:58.160,0:02:02.430
Miranda, thank you for getting the
contract papers ready so soon. I've
0:02:02.430,0:02:06.659
looked over them and I thought they were
solid. There was just one point, however,
0:02:06.659,0:02:11.760
that I would like to have revised. Please
add the statement "Matters not stipulated
0:02:11.760,0:02:14.920
in this Agreement
and any other ambiguities which arise in
0:02:14.920,0:02:18.490
relation to this Agreement shall be
settled through consultation in good
0:02:18.490,0:02:22.240
faith by the customer and Bizmates."
under Article 7.
0:02:22.240,0:02:25.870
It's a Japanese thing that just needs to
be there. It would be great if you could
0:02:25.870,0:02:31.600
get it in by the end of the day today.
OK, so in the first paragraph, I'm
0:02:31.600,0:02:37.420
thanking and praising our assistant for
her fast and quality work. Great job.
0:02:37.420,0:02:42.460
In the second paragraph, I'm explaining the
revision I need her to make. I said "it's
0:02:42.460,0:02:46.420
a Japanese thing" which means in this
case, it's something that always happens
0:02:46.420,0:02:51.730
in Japanese business. OK and then I
close my e-mail by setting a deadline.
0:02:51.730,0:02:55.450
Alright so there you go, an e-mail to
request a revision in a document.
0:02:55.450,0:03:00.430
I really need to put my act together
because I feel our assistant may outshine me
0:03:00.430,0:03:05.260
very soon. Anyway, that's it for today.
Thank you for watching and I'll see you later.
